Jill apologized. She didn't replace the food Alex ate, but that was OK. I think it's really sweet she actually acknowledged my anger and wanted to make me feel better. She opened up and told me she didn't want to party all the time anymore, that she actually wanted a boyfriend, that she didn't want to go back home for Thanksgiving, that sometimes she wished she could be disciplined and well-behaved like me. I told her I wanted to be wild, uninhibited, and with a bunch of dates lined up for me, like her. She seems so free of that inner critic that is constantly watching and judging.
My love life is picking up a little. Mike and I held hands and kissed briefly during our study session. We were at the library, so nothing else could happen but it was exciting. Now when I strip in front of the window, I'll imagine he is watching me. JT sent me a picture of chimps eating chocolate chip cookies like the ones we had at the vegan party. I looked through his FB pictures. Vienna had tagged him in several albums. It looks like there has been something going on between them. Maybe that's why she distanced herself from me when JT and I spent so much time talking to each other at the party.
Here's more from the wonderful book "Personal Development for Smart People."
"Self-discipline is another one of those dirty words. We’re told to take it easy. Go with the flow. Don’t sweat it. The myth of fast and easy pervades modern society. This may convince you to buy a lot of junk you don’t need, but it isn’t an effective way to run your life if fulfillment and success matter to you.
Even when you’re highly motivated to work on goals that truly inspire you, there will be times where your motivation wanes, and you have to tap into your willpower to keep going. Self-discipline is the willingness to do what it takes to achieve the results you want regardless of your mood. When you’re feeling unmotivated, apathetic, bored, or lazy, self-discipline provides your second wind and keeps you moving. It’s your fail-safe, your motivational backup system.
Being highly motivated is wonderful, but the energetic boost that motivation provides is unstable; it has its peaks and valleys. Even if you absolutely love what you do, there will still be plenty of tedious and difficult tasks that you don’t enjoy much.
There are days when I wake up feeling inspired, and my work flows easily. But there are also times when I feel lazy and unmotivated. Motivation alone would not be sufficient to drive me to complete most projects. If I relied solely on motivation, you wouldn’t be reading this book because it never would have seen the light of day. Self-discipline carries me through those times when my motivation isn’t high enough to compel me to act, but the powerful being inside me says, No delays. Today we must press on. Once I get that first half hour out of the way, I almost always want to continue.
Disciplining yourself to do what needs to be done, even when you don’t feel like it, isn’t easy. Building your self-discipline is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. It’s so difficult that some people will do almost anything to avoid it—procrastinate endlessly, do drugs, even commit suicide. But despite the difficulty, self-discipline remains one of the most significant aspects of personal development. Without it, your life is doomed to remain a pale shadow of your potential. Imagine all the wonderful accomplishments that will be within your grasp once you become disciplined enough to consistently follow through on your best intentions. It’s a wonderful feeling to set goals, knowing that you can trust yourself to do what it takes to achieve them."
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