Choosing a College Major

 So far I really like Philosophy and Psychology. My parents insist on Business or Biology/Chemistry/Pre-Med. They want me to have a job that can support my lifestyle one day. They say that I can always leave Business to become an artist but the opposite is much harder to do. Vienna is going to take an acting class next semester. I'm going to do the same. I hate the idea that I can be stuck in a monotonous routine for the rest of my life dreading going to work and wasting my life away there. I'm worried that once I end up in the wrong job, I'm not going to have the courage to change it because of the mortgage, the kids, etc.

Mike keeps texting me. I like the outcome of my bravery. It definitely paid off ;)

“Secondary gain is a common problem that occurs when you temporarily benefit (gain) by embracing falsehood. For example, you may tell a lie at work in order to avoid being fired, you may deny your relationship problems in order to preserve the peace, or you may eat unhealthy food for the sake of convenience.

Distancing yourself from the truth is never a wise long-term decision. It stems from a lack of acceptance of your own predictions and a refusal to deal with them openly and honestly. When you look behind secondary gain, you’ll invariably find a deeper falsehood you’ve been fiercely denying. Your refusal to deal with that lie perpetuates an ongoing downward spiral. Apparent short-term benefits replace true advancement, drawing you ever deeper into a life of repression and denial. The more you succumb to the lure of secondary gain, the phonier you become as a human being.

For example, suppose you work in a job that you intuitively feel is wrong for you; you know it’s a dead end. When you look ahead, you see nothing but a soulless void. You just can’t bring yourself to accept the truth of your situation, so instead you live in denial, pretending that everything will somehow turn out okay. Instead of facing the truth, you search for other ways to fill the emptiness, and eventually you’re seduced by the substitute of secondary gain. Instead of your true purpose, you pursue money, recognition, or comfort.

Instead of genuine growth, you settle for climbing the corporate ladder. Instead of abiding friendship and human intimacy, you settle for a sea of casual contacts, none of whom know, accept, and love the real you. Instead of worthwhile challenges, you settle for the illusion of security.

The pursuit of secondary gain leads to persistent dissatisfaction, emptiness, and unhappiness. It’s a temporary drug that can never fulfill you. If you find yourself caught up in this addictive cycle, take the time for some deep introspection. Even if you aren’t ready to deal with the long-term consequences yet, at least admit the truth to yourself. Don’t waste your life defending a string of false accomplishments.”