NYE was a disaster. Not for anybody else, only for me. Fortunately, I only knew two people at the party. Unfortunately, they were Alex and Vienna. I had no idea they were friends so oh, well... surprise! The party was at the roof of Alex's apartment building. They must've been so embarrassed by me. I don't even know if I should contact them on FB or text them. There is no way I'm calling them, but I'm open to suggestions on what to do. Here's the story and my opinion on what happened...
The reason why alcohol is more fun is because you lose the ability to differentiate right and wrong. Weed sucks! You realize everything that's going on, you know it's wrong, you know you look silly but cannot help it.
I got so high, it felt like I was going from one dimension to another. It felt like as soon as I had a thought I would move to a different reality where the thought would be playing out in front of me in slow motion. I couldn't feel parts of my body, like I would lick my lips and couldn't feel them. I was so vulnerable and scared, like a little girl lost in a mall. I was having hallucinations, visual and auditory, but not kinesthetic. I found out that if I reached for something and couldn't touch it, I was hallucinating. The only way for me to recognize reality was through my sense of touch, and the only way to stay in the present moment was by moving my feet and feeling the ground underneath. People love smoking weed, so I don't know why it turned into such a horrible experience for me.
The noises around me were distorted. I would see people talking and hear gargling noise coming out of their mouths. I started walking just to stay in the moment and walked into a bathroom. I felt so sorry for the person looking at me from the mirror, my pale skin and smeared eyeliner made me look like a ghost. God had given me a healthy body and this is how I was showing my gratitude, by abusing it and intoxicating it? I felt so pathetic I wanted to cry but only for a moment, then the realities changed again. I was vulnerable, out of control, among people I didn't even know, in a place I had never been to. I was all by myself, alone and lonely. Where did Vienna go? I asked Vienna to hold my hand and not let go until I was home and safe. Where was she? Did anybody care for me? I tried to drink water to speed up the detox process but noticed no difference.
I walked out of the bathroom, and there was Vienna, some other people, and Alex. I grabbed Alex's hand and said, "Please, don't let go of my hand. No matter what. Take me away from these people and please, don't let go of me." After what seemed like an eternity, we were sitting on a bed. "You are fine now. You can let go of my hand." "No, please don't let go of me." He turned off the light and we crashed on the bed holding hands like children. I remember opening my eyes in a light room hearing Alex's voice but when I tried to squeeze his hand, I couldn't feel it. I was hallucinating. Then I would open my eyes and I was in a dark room with Alex sleeping next to me. I could feel his hand under mine and would feel an overwhelming sense of relief and gratitude.
Finally, I woke up in the morning and felt like myself again. Alex and I were spooning. Mr. Pretty Boy was a gentleman and a true friend, no doubt about it.
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