I made out with Mike. On the positive side, it helped with my bruised self-esteem. At the same time, I realized I couldn't care less about having sex with him. I feel like I should come clean and let him know how I feel. It honestly scares me to lose him, because that would mean that nobody is into me, nobody wants me, nobody finds me attractive. At the party yesterday, I couldn't stop thinking if it's possible to sustain a relationship without sex.
I saw Alex with some very pretty girl. They were both so beautiful. I thought that if those two genetically blessed people ever had kids, they'd be gorgeous. Jill seemed awfully calm without Alex on Valentine's Day, so I had to ask what their deal was. Apparently, Alex's beauty was his twin sister, Chloe. She had just transferred from another college, so Alex wanted to take the time and introduce her to people. Haha, no genetically blessed babies there. Alex is pretty hot. If it weren't for Jill's crush on him, I'd totally go out with him.
My parents sent me flowers on the 14th and my own order got here on the 15th. I acted like they were both from guys. Jill looked really surprised and one of the guys from the dorm mentioned that I was so popular, he had no chance with me. I quickly corrected him and said I wasn't in love with neither of the guys who'd sent me flowers. He didn't follow up, though. Maybe I should find him on FB to establish contact. Jill said she'd find out his name. I don't know how long that's going to take. I'm thinking about searching through my friends' friends to see if his picture pops up.
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